Publications
May
2014Now that I know, why do I stay?
Again, I use the convention of speaking in the first person – on my behalf (in the past) and for some struggling now in an abusive relationship but who finds it impossible (so far) to leave it. For simplicity purposes, I will use the masculine pronoun for the abuser, but of course, it can happen the other way around. Here it goes: “I sit here drowning. I see it all so clearly now. I se
Read MoreApril
2014I Am River
I am River I am the river that flows both ways I flow unobstructed; freely I embrace the freedom of my flow My shores overflow and nourish all that I touch ^^^^^^^ Untested, the storms come Wind and storm wreck havoc My tide overflows; trees fall, rocks obstruct
Read MoreApril
2014Meditation on Safety
I choose to be safe I choose who will be in my life I can say yes, and I can say no I have a right to physical and emotional safety I choose to set boundaries that keep me safe I choose to empower myself I choose to see the truth of my relationships These truths allow me to choose what is right for me This is my journey This is my life
Read MoreMarch
2014Response to a Meditation on Reality: “I’m digging deep”
I am going to share with you the response of a reader to the “meditation on reality.” She is doing courageous work and it may help others. I hope it will help you. She writes: “I recall the meditation on my own reality and I can tell you, it isn’t pretty: As I close my eyes I am almost shocked at what I see. I reviewed what happened last night and it is as though I was numb to...
Read MoreMarch
2014What does a healthy relationship look like? The Old and the New Paradigm
We have certainly seen the dark side of relationship, but if we have never had, nor have never seen a truly loving relationship, how do we know what to create? What does it look like? Here is one way to delve into this mystery: I will set out a comparison between what I call the Old Relationship Paradigm and the New Relationship Paradigm. Some of these comparisons have to do with male-female relationships, others are not related to gender; some...
Read MoreMarch
2014A Meditation on Reality
You see how I have guided you to an open meditation, leaving yourself available to see what emerges. How is it going for you? Today, I invite you to a more specific meditation. Here goes: Sit in your meditation position. Part One: Your feet on the floor, hands resting comfortably in your lap. Close your eyes. Allow yourself to focus on the person in your life that is disturbing to
Read MoreFebruary
2014Dear Brother
Here is a letter that shows that abuse can come in many forms and through many different relationships. Years of heartbreak have induced the insight which she fought against for so many years. This is just one example of the betrayal that can occur in family relationships, laced with addiction and narcissism. And she points the way toward redemption - for herself. "Dear brother, I remember taking care of you as though you were my own child. Filling in the...
Read MoreFebruary
2014Conversation with my Self: "There are no victims, only willing participants."
Self: No, this cannot be. How dare you say that? You are blaming me, the victim! It's not my fault! . Higher Self: You agree to be disrespected? You feel you deserve the treatment you are getting? Self: I don't like how I am treate
Read MoreFebruary
2014How do I find myself again?
When I suggest that you meditate you may find yourself resistant. Maybe it's "I tried but my mind wouldn't stop." Or it may be, "I don't know how" or "I don't have the time."I understand. I experienced resistance as well. But I found a way that works for me. I share it here with you. It is a gathering of techniques that, if followed, will take you to the place deep inside of you that is quiet and wise. If...
Read MoreFebruary
2014Mary Oliver Speaks:
Listen: “The Journey One day you finally knew what you had to do, and began, though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice -- though the whole house began to tremble and you felt the old tug at your ankles. "Mend my life!" each voice cried. But you didn't stop. You knew what you had to do, though the wind pried with its stiff fingers at the very fo
Read MoreFebruary
2014Spiritual Healing: A practical Approach
We are a polarity of being. Our left-brain leaves us lost in endless thoughts, conflicts, planning, chatter, arguing, cognitive processing, deducing and judging. We need this part of us, but it can take over leaving us exhausted – not seeing the forest for the trees. Our right-brain is the intuitive part of us, filled with inspiration, creativity and perspective. This part of you accesses the quiet inner space that is just you, knowing. It is the part of you who...
Read MoreFebruary
2014Guest "Speaker": Confessions to my Body by Susan Bernstein
I would like you to read something. Thank you Gloria for sharing it with me. I now share it with you. I think you will see how beautiful and brilliant this is, reminding you to listen to yourself. Listen in the deepest way because you are wise beyond your present knowing. It's all inside:
Read MoreJanuary
2014What do I do now that I've hit bottom?
“If I only had a Guardian Angel. Can I be my own Angel? Am I too far gone for rescue? As I look down on myself from above, suffering and lost, I suddenly have compassion. I cry seeing the heap that I have become. I weep seeing my broken heart, the loneliness, the pain an
Read MoreJanuary
2014Why am I addicted to you? I am your prisoner
One of the mysteries of manipulative, abusive relationships is the feeling that, despite all rationality, the victim feels no choice but to stay. The feeling of helplessness is profound. Systematic degrading of the self creates destroys the feeling of self-worth, freedom and inde
Read MoreJanuary
2014Whose life is it, anyway?
When you read the previous post, did you wonder: I am changing, I am looking at my responsibility but he (she) isn't? I am doing my part, but (for simplicity purposes I will use the masculine pronoun, but know that it can go either way) he isn't. How will our relationship ever improve if he doesn't look inside and change how he treats me? Do you find yourself trying in any way poss
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