Power Politics or True Empowerment by Cynthia M Chase      With awareness, we have choice. Knowing the “truth” can set us free. This blog is based on personal and 30 plus years of clinical experience. It is my hope that by sharing the intricacies and inner workings of abusive relationships

Lenore Walker The origin of the cycle of abuse rests with the work of a woman named Lenore Walker in the 1970s. Her seminal work explained the pattern that she saw in abusive relationships.  While she focused on the patriarchal misuse of power, the pattern can be seen in other relationships – whether it be between man to wife, wife to husband, mother or father to their child or children, children to the mother or father, or homosexual relationships.  It...

THE STEALTH HUNTERS I'd like to talk to you about common behaviors and characteristics of abusers that do their work in a hidden or covert way. I call them stealth hunters (based on natures model) and manipulators interchangeably for the purposes of this blog. They do the equivalent of hunt at night. They can eye prey with precision and before you know it, you are the meal! 1. Selecting the victim

STEALTH HUNTERS In relation to CHILDREN Over the years I've lived through and noticed a number of disturbing behaviors in the complicated and contentious area of child custody during divorce proceedings. It is almost as though a psychotic element of personality can emerge when two people

The Prey – Characteristics and Behavior of the Victims 1. What makes you so vulnerable? Let's start out with a look at what makes you so vulnerable to the manipulator. What signals are you sending out that draws them to you like a magnet? Here are some questions for you: Are you needy, deep down inside? Are you desperate for love, attention and approval?

These are some principles that I have found to be helpful in healing the pain and suffering that occur in an abusive relationship. I speak to you, those that have been overcome by abuse – whether it be physical and or emotional. You deserve to live a life without fear. You deserve to be loved and to feel safe. I also speak to you, the abuser. You may be harder to reach, but I say to you – you too...

When you read the previous post, did you wonder:  I am changing, I am looking at my responsibility but he (she) isn't?  I am doing my part, but  (for simplicity purposes I will use the masculine pronoun, but know that it can go either way)  he isn't.  How will our relationship ever improve if he doesn't look inside and change how he treats me? Do you find yourself trying in any way poss

        One of the mysteries of manipulative, abusive relationships is the feeling that, despite all rationality, the victim feels no choice but to stay.  The feeling of helplessness is profound.  Systematic degrading of the self creates destroys the feeling of self-worth, freedom and inde