There are No Words: Carla chapter One
There are many forms of abuse, that is, when one person hurts another causing pain, trauma and suffering. Recently I have talked about adult relationships and how one party overpowers or bullies the other. Their partner unconsciously colludes with the abuser, sometimes unknowingly giving their own power to the bully.
What happens when a child is overpowered (by nature the power valance is skewed since the child is dependent and the adult is in charge) and that adult misuses parental power without a balance of love and compassion? The results can be devastating. One such instance occurred with one of my clients whose session will be detailed in the next blog. With her permission I will share this powerful and touching experience which she had during a Reiki Fusion session (please see my website cynthiamchase.com for a fuller explanation of the process).
The background is tragic. Her mother abandoned her when she was two years old, moving out-of-state. For privacy reasons, let’s call her Carla. Her mother promised to have her come and visit, but in spite of her hopes and wishes, it never happened. Carla was left in the care of her father, a man not cut out to be a parent, and certainly not the sole parent. She grew up afraid of him, his gruff and judgmental ways. She describes him as stoic, stubborn, confrontational, self-absorbed and insecure. She always feared he would abandon her, like her mother did, but he did not. Her fears guided her behavior and created a "false self" to keep him present.
Carla was a gifted and sensitive child. He may have done the best he could but with her sensitive ways, she learned she had to cut off her feelings in order to survive. Feelings were not allowed! She numbed herself and hid, even from herself. She hid the pain and suffering over the loss of her mother and the harsh and cold ways of her father. She became dissociated from her real feelings, her real self. She walked around “as if” she was there, but she actually had “vacated.” Her energy body left her physical body and hovered by her side.
She knew she wasn’t herself but had no idea how to find herself after years of shutdown and avoidance. She asked me if she would have to go through the memories of the neglect and abuse, or was there another way, a shortcut? Could she heal without traveling through the devastation, reliving it and going through the trauma all over again, this time with full consciousness?
When neglect and abuse are visited upon a little being who hasn’t even learned to conceptualize, talk, or process, there are no words for it. This is what makes “talk therapy” so ineffective. You can’t find the words, phrases, insights, or experiences without a cognitive context from which to access.
There are many excellent approaches, both modern and ancient that can be used to treat pre-verbal (sometimes called pre-oedipal) traumas. Some methods urge the patient to re-experience the traumas, but under certain circumstances re-traumatization can deepen the rift. The gift of Reiki Fusion is that, if necessary, memories can emerge briefly, then released – freeing blocked energy and opening to a lighter, joyful experience.
The next blog will be an in-depth description of deep healing that allows a part of Carla’s Higher Self, Spirit, or what I call Witness, to discover the wisdom, power and strength that she never thought she possessed. The answers did not come from me, but from the amazing being that she is (and that we all are). My purpose was to guide her and have faith in her own process. She was deeply surprised by her discovery. I have come to expect, that with patience and faith, we all have the strength and wisdom within us to get us through the darkest of times.
See you next time